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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25067701">Can I go where you go?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/pseuds/jbhmalum'>jbhmalum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Lots of cuddles, M/M, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oblivious Pining, also i make the boys cry way too much i'm sorry!!, is that a thing?, it's very soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:08:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25067701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/pseuds/jbhmalum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m in love with you, too.” Calum whispered as he pulled back, cuddling Michael so tight he could barely breathe, but he wouldn’t want Calum to let go of him for anything, so he just held him back and kissed the top of his head.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>//</p><p>A glimpse at Michael and Calum's relationship through the years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can I go where you go?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is inspired by Lover by Taylor Swift (Title also from the song)</p><p>This song came on the other day and I felt obligated to write malum fluff around it. I also felt obligated to incorporate a few lines from the song, maybe a bit too on the nose but it is what it is. Lashton is mostly in the background.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, Michael felt like he’d known Calum forever. Not just the almost 20 years they’d actually known each other (which was practically their whole lives already). No, he was pretty sure they’d been reincarnated a million times and that in every lifetime they ended up together, loving and protecting each other.</p><p>– </p><p>A day after they first met, Michael was already telling his mom that he’d found his soulmate. He wasn’t too sure what that meant yet, but he’d heard grown ups say that about people they loved deeply, and Michael already loved Calum like that, he was sure of it. He had been nice to him at school for the <em>whole</em> day, had played with him and everything, and he didn’t just pretend. Michael knew that, because at recess he’d offered him a piece of cake his mom had made for him, and you didn’t just do that for anyone.</p><p>“That’s amazing sweetie,” his mother had replied with a soft smile while making dinner. “You’re very lucky. It’s a pretty special thing, having a soulmate.” She would say something to that effect every other time Michael would bring up his best friend in conversation.</p><p>– </p><p>Michael never forgot his mother’s words. Every time he would make his best friend laugh or they’d whisper meaningless things to each other until dawn at sleepovers, he reminded himself that he was the luckiest guy on the planet and that he would make sure he and Calum would be friends forever. Even if that meant he couldn’t get a girlfriend (because she would certainly try to come between them), he didn’t care. Calum was more important.</p><p>He told Calum exactly that when they were twelve years old.</p><p>“I think, me too.” Calum had replied hesitantly, huddled close to Michael under the cover. “I’m not even sure I want a girlfriend. The girls at school aren’t even half as pretty as you anyways.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Silence settled in the dark room as both boys tried processing what that meant. When Michael still didn’t know what to say after a while, he could feel more than see Calum turning on his other side, away from him. And Michael wouldn’t have that, so he just pushed himself against Calum’s back and hooped his arm around the smaller boy’s middle, squeezing him tight like he often did when his friend was upset.</p><p>“Thank you.” He whispered. “I think you’re pretty, too.”</p><p>He swore he could feel Calum’s relief through his whole body, so he closed his eyes with a smile.</p><p>And that was that.</p><p>– </p><p>So, yeah. Calum and Michael’s deep abiding love for each other was pretty clear to everyone who knew them. Neither of them ever doubted it. For a long while, though, they didn’t realize that their love might be more profound than what other best friends usually felt for each other. To them, it was natural, there was no other way for them to know each other, so they never questioned it.</p><p>Sometimes other guys at school would take jabs at them, calling them words for holding hands in the hallways when Michael felt overwhelmed by the crowd of teenagers, but they learned to just ignore them. They didn’t matter, and in the end, they were probably just jealous that they didn’t have a best friend that would do everything for them.</p><p>-</p><p>Then they decided to be a band once they met Luke, and things were still the same between the two of them, until they weren’t. Michael started being anxious as soon as Ashton joined the band, because from the moment Calum saw him, he seemed absolutely <em>infatuated</em> with him. It was hard to watch. Calum would light up when the drummer would talk to him or validate one of his ideas, and Michael’s heart would break a little each time. He would remind himself that Calum was allowed to have other friends, but he didn’t have that gut wrenching feeling when it came to Luke.</p><p>Calum would still cuddle with him all the time, and they would still have sleepovers without the other boys. In truth, they didn’t act any different, but Michael… Michael was having a hard time with the sheer jealousy he was feeling. He stayed awake most nights wondering why he was feeling that way, but he would tell himself he was just not used to it not being just the two of them. And Ashton was nice, was his <em>friend</em>, so it wasn’t like he could kick him out of the band or anything.</p><p>One night, as they were huddled in bed together after their last show opening for Hot Chelle Rae, Michael couldn’t seem to fall asleep, again. The show had been good, but he could see from the side of the stage how Calum and Ashton were always looking at each other almost all the time. Which made sense, the rhythm section had to be in sync or else everything would fall apart. He knew that. But he also knew he wouldn’t bare it if Calum suddenly preferred Ashton over him.</p><p>He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt a hand wiping the silent tears on his cheeks.</p><p>“Mikey?” He had thought Calum was asleep already. He slowly turned his face towards him and he hated himself for the worried frown he was sure he’d put on his friend’s face. He was just being stupid.</p><p>Calum sat up on his elbow, still wiping the new tears flowing down Michael’s face with his other hand. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>And Michael had never been able to lie to Calum.</p><p>“Is Ashton your best friend?” He blurted out before he could think about it.</p><p>Calum only frowned at him deeper. “Well, yeah?” This time his eyes widened when the blond let out a sob, not able to hold it back. Okay, maybe he wasn’t being that stupid. He sort of wanted to push Calum away from him, but he loved his touch too much.</p><p>He forced himself to look Calum in the eyes. “Did I do something wrong? What –” he took a deep breath. “What does that mean for us?”</p><p>He felt like an idiot when Calum frowned at him once more, looking confused. “What?”</p><p>He looked lost for a second, then something seemed to click and he groaned before letting out a laugh. “Oh, Mike, you’re a moron.” He felt like disagreeing, but he’d been thinking it himself.</p><p>Calum smiled at him fondly and exasperatedly, holding his face in both hands this time. “Both Ash and Luke are my best friends, and they probably are yours, too. But you’re still my number one best friend, that’s never gonna change. I thought we agreed on that a long time ago?”</p><p>“But, Ash – you look like you’re practically in love with him sometimes.” Calum honest-to-god snorted at that.</p><p>“Oh, Mike, you have no idea. I’m not. I promise. He’s just… larger than life, you know?” When Michael still didn’t look convinced, Calum sighed. “You’re still my favorite, always will be.”</p><p>After drying most of Michael’s tears, he kissed the corner of his mouth before cuddling up to him again. Michael blushed a little bit, thinking Calum had probably missed his cheek in the dark, before letting out a relieved sigh and holding his <em>best friend</em> tight.</p><p>“And Ashton isn’t my soulmate, is he?”</p><p>Michael fell asleep with the biggest smile on his face.</p><p>– </p><p>When Michel started struggling with his mental health around the time they released their first album, Calum noticed almost before he did. He sat him down one day, telling Michael about  everything he’d noticed in his behavior that was just wrong, and Michael’s only reaction was to cry in relief and collapse in his best friend’s arms. He was just so grateful for Calum. He’d been wanting go to him for months, but he never knew what to say. ‘Oh hey Cal, my chest hurts all the time and I don’t have the will to do anything and I feel like I’m gonna collapse on stage every night and I can’t sleep and I don’t know why’ seemed a bit too much and not enough at the same time.</p><p>That was still what he ended up confessing to Calum that day, and it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He could tell Calum was worried though, his own voice shaky as he tried to calm him down, promising to be here to help him through it.</p><p>“You’ll be okay, Mikey. We’ll get you to see a professional, and I’ll also be there, always. You don’t have to go through this on your own.”</p><p>And he never did.</p><p>– </p><p>A few months after that conversation, they kissed for the first time.</p><p>Michael hadn’t planned on it, really. But they were back in Sydney for a few days, and as much as Michael had missed his parents, a day in he was already spending all his time at Calum’s place. They would spend all day on their own (mostly playing video games or talking shit) and then Calum’s parents would come back from work and cook for them, and it was all just so familiar. Joy and David kept telling him that they missed having the two of them home and Michael realized just how much of a unit they were if even Calum’s own parents associated them together all the time.</p><p>As they were lying in Calum’s bed (and, yeah, they still shared a bed at nineteen, they were clingy like that), not ready to sleep yet but too tired to do anything, Michael took a long look at his friend. Sprawled out on the bed, his hair a complete mess and half in his face and engulfed in a big sweater, he looked at peace. Michael had always found Calum cute and adorable and even beautiful, but in that moment, holding his phone in one hand, doing god knows what on it, his other hand mindlessly caressing Michael’s upper arm as if it belonged there, Michael found him absolutely breathtaking. He put his hand over Calum’s on his arm. The other boy’s mouth curled into a smile, and Michael felt almost overwhelmed by the familiarity of the scene and the realization that Calum felt like <em>home</em>. He’d been the only constant in his life for as long as he could remember, his happy place.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Calum flicked his eyes up at him for a second before looking back at his phone, still smiling. “I know.”</p><p>Michael squeezed his hand and shook his head. “No. I <em>love</em> you. I’m in love with you.” And before that moment, he’d never thought of it that way, but it just felt so <em>right</em>. He <em>was</em> in love, probably had been since the two of them met.</p><p>Calum looked up so quickly he almost bumped his head against his phone, and his eyes held a mixture of hope and disbelief. “What?”</p><p>Michael moved closer to him so that their foreheads were almost touching. “I’m in love with you, Cal.” It felt so good saying it now that he’d realized it. It didn’t feel scary at all, because it was <em>Calum</em>. He felt so giddy yet so clear headed, so safe, so happy, and he couldn’t stop smiling even if he wanted to.</p><p>Calum’s bright eyes were searching for something in Michael’s, probably honesty if Michael knew him (which, he did), and his smile when he seemed to have found it matched the now black haired boy’s. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as if to say something, but after a few minutes of them grinning at each other wordlessly he seemed to think better of it, and Michael was not surprised when he felt lips on his own.</p><p>The kiss was soft and didn’t last more than a few seconds, but Michael could still feel all the love Calum was pouring into it. He tried to give back as much as he could.</p><p>“I’m in love with you, too.” Calum whispered as he pulled back, cuddling Michael so tight he could barely breathe, but he wouldn’t want Calum to let go of him for anything, so he just held him back and kissed the top of his head.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>–</p><p>Being in a relationship with Calum was surprisingly easy. Michael hadn’t really known what to expect as he hadn’t really thought about it before, but he didn’t expect things to just be the same. They were still best friends, or maybe it was that they’d already been dating without noticing. Michael still played video games with Calum offering annoying commentary in the background, they still went to get coffee together, only now they were going on actual dates. The added bonus was, they kissed each other hello and goodnight and also every minute they weren’t in public.</p><p>(“Luke,” Ashton had whined one day as they were getting ready for their show backstage, Michael kissing a spot on his boyfriend’s face every two seconds. “I think the two of us should make out all the time to show them how fucking annoying it is.”</p><p>Luke’s only response was a glare at all three of them and the blush creeping on his cheeks.)</p><p>So, yeah, they kissed and made out a lot and they didn’t feel like hiding it from their bandmates, or sparing them, even if that meant getting teased about it all the time. It was worth it.</p><p>– </p><p>The first time they tried to have sex did not go as well as they would have liked. It was about a year and a half after they’d started dating, because neither of them felt ready before that. Luke and Ashton obviously didn’t know that, always making jokes about how they must be ‘going at it like rabbits when no one’s there. I just know it’. Michael and Calum would let it slide with just a middle finger, because they were pretty sure Ashton was just projecting, frustrated that he wasn’t ‘going at it like rabbits’ with Luke himself. </p><p>In any case, they’d decided that they were going to sleep together when they were on their four day break. They were in the middle of the Sounds Live Feels Live tour, and they’d figured it was time. They were back in LA for those few days and Michael was excited and full of adrenaline.</p><p>So, when the night came, he had prepared everything. He’d lit a few candles in the bedroom, which he would never admit to anyone that wasn’t his boyfriend, he’d put on nice soft sheets, he’d even prepared a playlist, and he’d made sure to put the lube and condoms close to the bed.</p><p>As he was waiting for Calum to get there (he’d been out visiting his friends all day) he ordered the pizza (not very romantic, but they’d agreed to do something simple, that they would do everyday) and sat on the couch, trying to calm himself. The mix of excitement and nerves he was feeling was annoying him. It was Calum, who had also never had sex all the way before, there was nothing he needed to worry about.</p><p>When his boyfriend arrived, Michael was a bit more relaxed, but Calum looked worn out, collapsing on the couch right after greeting him. He tried to convince the dark haired boy that they didn’t have to do anything and that they could just go to sleep, but Calum was very stubborn, so he insisted, claiming that they’d waited long enough.</p><p>Michael caved, obviously, because he was kind of really horny, and after they’d eaten their dinner, Calum looked a bit more awake, so he didn’t ask again and they made their way to the bedroom.</p><p>He probably should have, though, because halfway through he felt hands push at his chest and Calum whimpered at him to stop in a way that he could only describe as desperate before letting out a sob, and whoa. Michael pulled out immediately, maybe a bit too quickly, but he was a bit shaky right now, because that was unexpected. And worrisome. Calum didn’t <em>cry</em>. It just wasn’t a thing.</p><p>He hovered over the crying boy, not sure what to do. “Cal, baby? Did I hurt you?” Calum had seemed to be enjoying it, but now that he thought about it, he wasn’t exactly participating, mostly letting Michael do all the work.</p><p>Calum shook his head and put his hands over his eyes. “No, no you didn’t. I don’t even know, I just feel so goddamn tired and all of a sudden I just- I didn’t want to. I’m sorry. I don’t really know what’s happening.”</p><p>“Hey, you’re good.” Now that Michael knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, he brought his hands to Calum’s shaking ones and pushed them away from his face. It was apparent that his boyfriend was distraught by the way he was biting his lips to keep them from trembling. He wasn’t very successful.</p><p>At a loss for word – he wasn’t used to being the one doing the comforting – Michael just stroked Calum’s hair until he’d calmed down a little before offering to run him a bath. The dark haired boy only shrugged, so Michael kissed his cheek and went to run it anyways, figuring it could only make him feel better.</p><p>He spent the next hour washing Calum’s hair and rubbing his shoulders, holding him close in the bubbling water. It turned out that the tour had been taking a bigger toll on Calum than he’d thought, and he’d just felt overwhelmed at doing something new in the midst of all that.</p><p>“So it wasn’t just that my dick was too powerful?” Calum made an indignant noise and slapped him on the thigh, but he was laughing and the knot in his shoulders was gone, so Michael wasn’t too worried.</p><p>He’d take Calum laughing over sex any day.</p><p>– </p><p>When they did finally sleep together, Michael almost felt like taking back that statement. Almost.</p><p>– </p><p>They officially moved in together after they finished recording <em>Youngblood</em>, a couple weeks after Michael’s birthday. It felt like a good time to do so: Luke had already been living with Ashton for awhile, not able to keep himself together on his own (and, really, now that they lived together and <em>they were both single</em>, there was no way they weren’t banging), and Michael had been spending all his time at Calum’s house anyway, so it felt like the right time.</p><p>The house they bought was a ten minutes drive away from Ashton’s, per Calum’s request. It had a homey feel to it already, and the both of them had fallen in love with it as soon as they’d stepped foot in it. They’d had to repaint a wall because the apple green in the kitchen was a big no-no, but other than that, it was ready to go.</p><p>Ashton and Luke obviously helped them when they moved in – they didn’t feel like getting someone else to do it – arguing about who would get to claim which part of the house as their own (“Why would you claim the kitchen? I eat more than you do. You get the bathroom, you’ll probably end up puking your guts out in here more often than not anyway.” “Fuck you, Ash.” “No, fuck the both of you, it’s not even your house!”) and Michael was the happiest he’d ever been, watching his boyfriend and his friends work to put their little house together.</p><p>He was unpacking the boxes in the bathroom, and he felt a rush of excitement at the future as he put Calum’s nail polish next to his own hair products. It was probably not the right place to put them, but whatever. They were finally doing this, and Michael hadn’t realized how big of a step it was until now, all their personal belongings in the same space and here to stay.</p><p>“Whatcha thinking about?” </p><p>He almost jumped at his boyfriend’s voice, and looked up at him from where he was sitting on the floor in from of the cupboard. “Just how much I love you,” he replied with a smile.</p><p>Calum sat down next to him, putting his arms around his waste and resting his head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe that we can finally say that this is our home. We can do whatever we want in here, no rules. We could leave the Christmas lights up until January. Or all year ‘round, really, I know how much you love them. Ash and Luke can sleep in the guest room if they’ve had too much to drink, and if we have big parties our friends could, I don’t know, crash in the living room or something.”</p><p>Michel hummed, letting his head fall against Calum’s and putting his own arms over his. “Yeah. We can be ourselves. No rules.”</p><p>– </p><p>When Calum proposed, it seemed everyone but Michael was expecting it. </p><p>They were in the middle of their first show for the No Shame Tour, and Michael was ecstatic. To be fair, they all were. This tour had been a long time coming, and he felt at home, here with his two best friends, his boyfriend and their cheering fans.</p><p>He was about to do his speech before Jet Black Heart, when the lights dimmed in a way that Michael had not known about, <em>and now was not the time for technical difficulties</em>, when Calum called his name int the microphone. His turned around, frowning when he noticed his boyfriend was way closer to him than he should be.</p><p>He was dressed rather simple and casual tonight. His blue jeans were cuffed at the ankles – which Michael found hotter than was probably healthy – leading to his black combat boots, his black shirt was tucked in, his blond curls shining under the spotlight above them, and, once again, Michael was struck by his ethereal beauty.</p><p>“What’s happening?” Michael asked as he noticed Ashton wasn’t behind his drums anymore, instead standing in front of them with his arm around Luke’s shoulder, both sporting huge grins on their faces.</p><p>Calum was sweating, which wasn’t unusual in the middle of a set, but what caught Michael’s attention was the way he was fiddling with his hands nervously. That was unusual.</p><p>“Hi everyone,” he started. “I’m sorry I’m interrupting Michael’s speech, but there’s something I need to say, and I think it’s only right I say it before this next song.”</p><p>Michael looked at his boyfriend then at his two other bandmates for an explanation as to what the fuck was going on, but the trouble twins only answered with an unwavering smile and Calum just got closer to him. Michael gave Calum a look when he took his hand in his own, because seriously <em>what</em>, they were in front of thousands of people, and the last time they’d talked about this Calum wasn’t ready to go public yet, but Michael had a feeling that was what he had in mind right now. If he only knew.</p><p>Calum cleared his throat, gave Michael a reassuring smile, and brought the microphone to his mouth.</p><p>“This is gonna be super sudden for everyone, but I’ve been waiting a long time to say this.” He squeezed Michael’s hand and looked at him intently. His brown eyes were so full of love and adoration, Michael didn’t know what to do with it. He felt sweaty and hot, and he was sure it had nothing to do with the lights. “Michael… I love you. You already know that, because I always tell you. And I know how much you love me, too. You say it a lot, but you don’t just say it with your words. You say it in the way you make me breakfast even though you hate cooking. You say it in the way you always laugh at my stupid jokes. You say it in the way you always make sure I’m always the best version of myself. Hell, you say it in the way you make fun of me all the time but would throw a fit if even Luke or Ash dared making fun of me. I’d do the same, by the way, in case you were wondering. Because you’re the one for me.”</p><p>Michael’s eyes were filling with water because, what the actual <em>fuck</em>, that wasn’t just a coming out party, Calum was professing his love for him in front of a crowd that was dead silent, probably too shocked to even scream. He wanted to say something back, because he was starting to get an idea of where this was going, but he had no words, and Calum beat him to it.</p><p>“Sometimes I feel like I got way too lucky and that something is bound to go wrong at some point.” He let out a sigh that was full of nerves and determination, eyes locked with his boyfriend’s. “But most of the time I just think we were meant to be. I <em>know</em> we are. We’re soulmates, I’ve always been sure of that, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. So, Michael Clifford, I was wondering –”</p><p>Michael could do nothing but stare and let out a silent gasp as his boyfriend dropped to one knee, here on stage, in front of the world, and damn it now Michael was <em>crying</em> in front of the world, that was not fair.</p><p>“I don’t even have a ring because I decided to do this literally an hour ago, but <em>Michael</em>,” he said his name almost pleadingly, but his hand was steady around the microphone. “Mike, will you marry me?”</p><p>And Michael was throwing himself to the ground around Calum before he even finished the sentence, screaming ‘yes, yes, yes’ in his <em>fiancee’s</em> ear through his tears. They toppled over with the force of Michael’s dive, and Calum was laughing as his face was being attacked with kisses.</p><p>Michael could faintly hear the hysterical screams from the audience, but he didn’t care. It was like he’d waited for this moment his entire life. They both knew that they were gonna spend the rest of their lives together, but now it was official.</p><p>He felt a weight settle above them and suddenly he was being squashed by two mountain-bodies, which was not that fun, but Luke was crying because he was an emotional baby and Ashton was screaming something that sounded vaguely like “fuck yeah, that’s my boys!” and Michael remembered, once again, how lucky he was.</p><p>He wouldn’t trade his life for anything in the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feedback is always appreciated!</p><p>Come talk to me on tumblr <a href="https://jbhmalum.tumblr.com/">@jbhmalum</a> it's fun over here!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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